Let me start off by saying that I think ideas are awesome. Computers, Harry Potter, Buttercream Frosting. All started off as ideas in someone’s head. So I really think ideas are wonderful things and we should never stop dreaming and coming up with new ideas.

However, some ideas are bad. Very bad. Eating White Castle when you’re completely sober? Not a good idea. The time I signed up for a stunt class on a whim and thought I’d be able to free fall jump off a 2-story building? Horrible, horrible idea. We’ve all had our fair share of bad ideas. Then there are those ideas that we have ALL had that never end well.

I’m going to eat really fattening today because I’m starting my diet tomorrow. Do you know how many Sundays I’ve spent stuffing my face with deliciously fattening food with images of salads and fruits in my head for the rest of the week? HA! This is how it really goes down: I stuff my face on Sunday. Eat somewhat healthy on Monday. At one point on Tuesday I break the 24-hour diet and eat something fattening. Instead of just letting it go, I decide that the diet is completely ruined for the rest of the week. Sunday rolls around and I’m back to stuffing my stuff with the intention of sticking to fruits and veggies the following week.

I’m tired. I’ll just finish that tomorrow morning before I go to work. So you’ve already come to terms with the fact that you’ll be ordering lunch at work? Just make the sandwich the night before. You can barely wake up for work already. You actually think you’re going to wake up ten minutes earlier than normal to make yourself a turkey sandwich and salad? It’s not gonna happen. This is why I don’t shower in the morning. I’d always be dirty or late to work.

My New Year’s resolution is… Just don’t do it. You know what’s a better thing to do when New Year’s rolls around? Set yourself a goal you’d like to accomplish in the upcoming year. As opposed to a resolution, which unrealistically requires you to change some aspect of your personality, a goal is a positive thing you can work towards achieving throughout the year.

I am going to buy this exercise machine and I WILL use it. Do you know what you just bought? A really expensive, bulky coat rack! You’ll use it the first week. Maybe the first month if you’re feeling ambitious. After that, it will become nothing more than storage.

I’m only going to watch one more episode. Go to sleep. Go outside. Your show is not going anywhere. It will be there tomorrow. Stop now while you still can. You’re not going to watch just one episode. I was really late to the Breaking Bad party. I didn’t start watching until earlier this year. I watched the entire series in about a week and a half. I even stayed home from work one day to watch. It basically consumed my life. Want to know what happened after it was all done? I wished it wasn’t. I wished I had spaced out the episodes a bit and took my time enjoying the series.