When I first started this blog I was all like, “I’m going to post every Monday and Friday. Start everyone’s week off right and then send them into the weekend with a bang.” I was really reaching with that. Mostly because I assumed people would look to my blog to jump-start their weekends like I’m a shot of Jameson, but also because I actually thought I could write two posts a week. That quickly changed to, “I’m going to post at least once a week.” Clearly I’ve been AMAZING with that. Now my motto with this blog is, “I’ll try to stop by once every four years.” I’m the leap year of blogs! So happy February 29th bitches! I’m here with a new post.

After I finish this post and publish it, I am definitely go to tell myself that I will write more often. I will really try to stick to once a week. I’m lying! What I’m really saying is: “Every night before I go to sleep I will come up with some really great ideas for a post. I will write it all out in my head and it will be insightful and hilarious. Morning will come and I’ll forget 95% of it. But that’s OK cause it’ll eventually come back to me, right? Then I’ll start a draft while at work and come up with a title and add some tags to the post. The post will sit in my drafts for weeks before I open up this blog again and start a new draft with a new idea I wrote in my head the night before and quickly forgot. Then three months after this post was published I will FINALLY write a new post and the cycle will start all over again.”

Here are a few other things 99% of the time I am lying about.

What I say: Between work and school I honestly don’t have any time for a boyfriend right now.
What I really mean: School and work do keep me busy but I do have some free time. But I’d much rather use that free time watching TV or hanging out with friends than suffering through an uncomfortable date with someone I met from OK Cupid.

What I say when someone asks if I want to go get food with them: No, it’s OK. I already ate.
What I really mean: I did not already eat. And even if I did already eat, I’d still want to go get food with you cause I love food. There will never be a scenario where I actually don’t want to go get food. This statement really means that I am broke and while I’d love to go eat, my wallet won’t allow it.

What I say: I don’t like the gym. I like to go running.
What I really mean: I like the idea of running. I like it a lot. I’ve even purchased running shorts and these snazzy running sneakers (they’re purple and pink in case you were wondering). And I have good intentions when it comes to running. I love the spring weather and it always makes me want to go outside and run. But what usually happens is I go out after work on a Monday all set to run a mile. I run one block, lose my breath, walk about 10 blocks, try to run again, give up, and go home. Next Monday rolls around and the process repeats itself until the summer comes and it’s just too hot to run. The idea of running will pop into my head when fall rolls around but before I can actually start any sort of routine it’s winter again.

What I say when I’m hungover: I am NEVER drinking again! It’s just not worth it. I’m not 22 anymore and the recovery time is just too much for me to handle.
What I really mean: So who wants to take this shot with me?