I was in California last week. It was really nice to get away but I am glad to be back home. I missed the East Coast. I can bitch and moan about New York all I want, but anytime I leave, I can’t wait to get back. The only thing that makes me sad about coming back is that it signifies the beginning of the end of my summer break. My summer Fridays are officially over and I go back to school this Thursday! I can’t believe it’s already almost time for school again. I’m excited to start my final semester but also a little nervous. I wish I could get another week or two without the stress of school.
The return of school means that I’m going to be posting even less frequently than I do now. I know this is very sad news. Try not to cry too much. I’m sure I’ll have plenty of papers that I’ll need to procrastinate on. Writing a post will be the perfect distraction. But for now, before school really starts to kick my ass, I’m bringing you a new post. Yay! A new post where I talk about how confusing I find the Internet sometimes.
The Internet is a very confusing and weird place. Of course, it doesn’t confuse me as much as it did Katie Couric and Bryant Gumbel back in 1994. I obviously know how the Internet works and what it’s for: Porn! But there are plenty of times I find myself shutting down the computer and saying, “That’s enough Internet for today.” Here are just a few things that have me scratching my head.
1. The comments section on any article ever written. If you want to lose your faith in humanity on a regular basis, just read the comments on any article. It doesn’t matter what the subject is. There could be an article about firemen saving babies and puppies from a burning building and commenters will somehow find a way to be despicable. The comments usually have to do with the gays pushing the gay agenda on innocent children or women being shameless whores. Want to know the quickest way to be told you should be raped and killed? Be a female (or pretend to be a female) and disagree with something in the comments section. It’s that easy.
2. The Humans of New York FB page. Remember what I just said about commenters on the Internet? Well, when you visit HONY, it’s the complete opposite. Humans of New York is the single most beautiful area on all the Internet. If you aren’t familiar with HONY, you need to familiarize yourself immediately. The posts and the comments from readers is reason enough to keep your FB account active. You will laugh, you will cry, you will have your faith in humanity restored.
3. Benedict Cumberbatch. We all know that I’m in love with the Internet’s number one boyfriend. But there’s another geeky, tall British lad that everyone seems to be in love with and I just do not get it. Sorry, but I just do not get the obsession with Benedict Cumberbatch. Sure he’s a good actor and makes a great Sherlock but is he hot? I’m gonna have to pass. This is one thing about the Internet that I’ll never understand.
4. Snapchat, Vine, and the newest social media app that probably came out earlier today. Things were much simpler when I was a teenager. It started with MySpace and then we gradually moved to Facebook. Not to get all back-in-my-day old lady on everyone, but these days a new social media app comes out every hour. Who can keep up with that? I have FB and Instagram, and that’s more than enough social media for me. How do teenagers have time for anything else when dealing with 500 different apps at once?
5. A person’s Internet personality. The persona some people take on while hiding behind a computer is very different from who they are in real life. And yes, this does have a lot to do with commenters. People say a lot of shitty things to strangers on the Internet that they would never have the balls to say in real life. But this also pertains to people on social media. You know what I’m talking about. You ever have someone you know in real life and actually like them but then see their posts on FB or Instagram and immediately want to punch a whole in a wall or their face? Social media can really bring out the worst in people. Even people you would normally like.
6. YouTube stars. So E! Online caused a shit storm the other day for having the audacity to question whether some of the celebrities at the Teen Choice Awards were actually celebrities. Naturally, people got angry because you cannot do anything these days without getting someone angry. E! Online was talking about the plethora of Vine and YouTube stars walking the red carpet. I’ve watched some Jenna Marbles videos before and she can be very funny, but I don’t think I could subscribe to several different accounts watching random people tell me about their day and show me how to put on make-up. I realize the irony of me saying that on my personal blog that I want people to read but I would never pretend that I’m a celebrity. Sorry, this is another thing about the Internet that I will never get.
7. Cats. And no I am not talking about the Broadway show. I’m talking about the devil’s children who will sneak into your baby’s room at night and steal its breathe (while this may or may not be true, let’s pretend it is cause it supports my case against cats). Now cats on the Internet are really cute. Like, really, really, really cute. What I want to know is, where are these cats in real life? Every cat I’ve ever come across either didn’t even look my way or looked at me and hissed like I murdered every member of its family. No amount of cute YouTube cat clips can convince me that they are better than dogs.