Let’s Talk About the Elephant in the Blog

I started this blog on April 1, 2014. It was just a little over a month after my 28th birthday. I was working a dead end job. A job that I did love because I worked with some amazing people but it was going nowhere. I had absolutely no benefits and was barely living paycheck to paycheck. I was also living in a basement. (Yep, I was the cliche creep literally blogging from her basement when I started this blog.) Additionally, I was incredibly single. Probably the most single I’ve ever been since I went on my first date ever.

In those past two years, I’ve had a lot of ups and downs. But that was kind of the whole point of this blog. It was me struggling with still being a fumbling twenty-something and having no idea what I want to do with my life. I was always hoping that when I hit that 30 milestone things would start to look up.

Well, it turns out that the big 3-0 is almost here. I have a lot of friends that jokingly ask me what I’ll call my blog after my birthday next month. (It’s February 25th for anyone who wants to send me presents!) “I Am 30 Now” doesn’t really have the right ring to it. I’m not feeling “I’m Not 20 Anymore” either. So for anyone wondering what’s going to happen to this blog’s name after my birthday, nothing will be happening. This will still be “Am I Thirty?” You all can rest easy now. You’re welcome.

I am a pessimist at heart and sometimes feel that if I get too excited about something, I’ll only be let down. But if I’m being honest with myself, things are really looking up for me at the moment. I may be heading into my thirties with not as much dread as I thought I would. I officially graduated from grad school and have my MLS degree. I was just rereading my About Me page and this is what I wrote: I am in grad school for Library and Information Science. I hope to be done the fall of this year. I eventually want to work with children or young adults in a public library. Well I earned that degree this fall and starting Monday I will be working as a Young Adult Librarian for the Brooklyn Public Library. (I still can’t really believe that I got the exact job I wanted right after graduating.) I am also finally able to move back out of my dad’s apartment. I had to move back home when I started school but now with my new fancy job, I am looking for places so I can live on my own again. I am still a single gal but I feel like this past year has taught me a lot about dating. I’ve finally started to figure out the things I’m doing wrong and what I do want in a relationship. There is a boy in the picture. A really nice boy who’s tall and makes me laugh. We’ve only gone on two dates so I wouldn’t call it anything at the moment. But I do know that I am going to give him a proper chance, not obsess over every little thing, and not run away the second I find one little thing about him I don’t like.

I named this blog “Am I Thirty?” on a whim. It was more to joke about the theory that once you’re in your thirties you have it all figured out. Being less than two months from thirty, I can already tell you that theory is bull. We will never have it all figured out no matter how old we are or how perfect our lives seem on social media.

I have no expectations that things are going to be perfect this next year. My job is going to be difficult and it’s going to take a lot of time and energy to get used to this brand new position. I live in NYC so even with a real job, I will not be able to afford some amazing apartment. And yes, most of my furniture will still be coming from IKEA. Also, who knows where things will end up with nice, tall boy who makes me laugh.

The name and the major themes of this blog are not going to change just because I’ll no longer be in my twenties. Sure, I feel like I’m moving towards the right direction and for once have a grasp on what I want to do with my life. I’m also a lot more confident in myself than I’ve ever been before. But I don’t have that “picture perfect, shit all together” life so many think they’ll have by the time they’re thirty.

So don’t worry about this blog going away or changing it’s tune just cause I’ll be thirty soon. Maybe, if I’m going to make any change, I should change the blog name to “Am I Sure I’m Thirty?”