It’s Okay to Not Feel Okay

The past few weeks I have been in a bit of a funk. I haven’t spoken to too many people about it because I really don’t know how to put into words what I’m feeling. There isn’t a specific event or occurrence that I can attribute to my depressed state.  I am not sure why I’ve been feeling the way that I have. I have just been feeling down.

When I get into a funk that has no real explanation, it always makes me feel worse. I have a roof over my head. I am relatively healthy. I don’t go to bed hungry. I have a job I enjoy. There is no real reason to feel the way that I do.

The lack of reasoning results in feelings of guilt. So on top of feeling down, I also feel incredibly guilty. Clearly I am overreacting and being ungrateful. I’ll often invalidate my own feelings. Instead of accepting the things I’m feeling, I fight them. This action has a tendency to simply make me feel worse.

There’s a major flaw in this way of thinking: All feelings are valid. And sometimes feeling shitty is just a part of being alive. In fact, I may question your humanness if you are ALWAYS happy. There is no way that is healthy.

So I’ve been feeling a little down. It could be the long winter. It could be my upcoming birthday which always fills me with doom and existential thoughts. It could be a chemical imbalance. Or, and the likely culprit, it could just be life.

Sometimes life is really awesome and sometimes it’s really shitty. It is okay for your mind to react accordingly. If you ran a mile or worked a 13 hour shift, no one would fault you for being exhausted. The same thing applies to your mind. Life can become exhausting and overwhelming. Allow your mind to take a break without feeling guilty.

If you find yourself going through a funk, don’t fight it. Recognize all the things in your life to be grateful for. Don’t brush them off. However, don’t use them as an excuse to invalidate your feelings. Healthy people can get depressed. People with a roof over their head and a job can feel anxious.

Remember: All feelings are real, even the crappy ones.

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28 comments

  1. Oh ick – I’m sorry your going through this. Whenever I’ve been in a funk, sometimes there’s a reason – fighting a cold, bad birth control … and sometimes there’s no particular reason.

    Hang in there!

    1. You may be onto something with the birth control. I started a new pill a few months ago and just haven’t been feeling like myself since. I called my doctor the other day to have her prescribe me something different. I’m hoping that will help.

  2. I meant to comment on this post yesterday but got distracted by that pesky thing called work… Anyways! This really resonated with me. I occasionally go through through funks and despite intense contemplation, I can never find anything to blame for my vaguely mopey feelings. And then the guilt sets in for yes, being ungrateful for my fairly awesome life, for temporarily not being the peppy, fun person that everyone expects me to be, etc. So glad to know that I’m not the only one whose mind operates that way!

  3. Ahhh I LOVE this and can relate 100%. I’m sorry you’ve felt crummy lately, but just know you’re not alone. I often feel like that a lot more in the wintertime too. Sometimes I blame it on having crazy hormones, other times I just realize that life isn’t perfect and our feelings aren’t always either. I’ll definitely keep you in my prayers, and I am sure you will be feeling better in a matter of time. My funks come in waves and don’t usually last crazy long; I hope yours are the same!

    Also, I’d love to send you a card for your birthday if you want! I love other people’s birthdays and sending snail mail. 🙂 No pressure at all, but if you want a little something feel free to send me your address on Instagram or something (idk if WordPress has a DM feature). Regardless I hope you have a great day! ❤

    1. Thankfully, I feel like I’ve gotten out of this funk. Maybe it was the cold weather (January is never a good time for me).

      I am sorry I didn’t see this sooner. That was so sweet of you to even offer to send a birthday card. My birthday did pass already but maybe I’ll take you up on that offer for next year. Getting a card in the mail for my birthday would be pretty sweet. Doesn’t really happen anymore.

      1. GOOD, I’m so glad! ❤ January is the roughest winter month for sure, so I can see that being the case.

        And of course, I love snail mail, so let me know if you ever want a card, haha! I sent dozens of Valentine's this year since it's my favorite holiday, haha!

  4. When I’m having a terrible off day like that I try and re-center myself. For me I do that by reading one of my favorite books and getting a little lost but for lots of people it’s cooking or running etc

  5. Such a valuable reminder! Even though I have major depression and anxiety diagnoses, I still feel these extra moments when I recognize that it’s not about my diagnoses. That is when I have to remind myself to just feel it, let it sit for a while, acknowledge it, then let it go. Thanks 🙂

      1. Yay! It’s something I learned years back in treatment. Part of the reason behind my drug use was to “not feel anything bad” but bad feelings are always going to come. We have to learn that we can survive them. Glad you found those words useful ❤

  6. Fight it and it gets worse. Go with it, take care of yourself and it can pass. Everyone has a right to feel how they feel. It’s taken me a very long time to understand this but now I do it feels wonderful.

  7. I love everything about this. YES to not invalidating your feelings. I hate when people throw your blessings in your face as a way to help you “come to your senses.” As if you can’t be sensible and sad at the same time. Your example was a perfect…”If you ran a mile or worked a 13 hour shift, no one would fault you for being exhausted. The same thing applies to your mind.” Why that’s so hard for people to understand, I don’t know. I hope you’re feeling better but if not, just remember that its temporary and let that give you peace. 🙂

  8. I’ve been feeling the same way off and on for weeks now. Usually, the waves of sadness hit me on the weekend. This one being no different and I, too, was making myself feel guilty for feeling like this and trying to pull myself out of it with all the blessings I have in front me. However, it took a few meditations and a few posts I’ve written to get out of my own funk this time around. It’s funny how sometimes I am my own therapist through my blog. lol Anyway, I agree that the best way to deal with it is to simply feel the feeling and not judge. Honor them and then slowly breathe through it to the other side because like you said, beating yourself up about your feelings will only make you feel worse. And believe me, I know all about that life. Thanks for sharing this! Great day to read this. Cheers to the unexplained moods of life!

    1. Thanks so much for reading and for your awesome comment. I’m so happy to hear that you’re feeling better. Writing really can be great therapy. I always feel a lot better after I write out my thoughts.

  9. Yep I’ve been feeling the funk too. Is it just February Funk? Can we get this established as a diagnosable condition?

    New to your blog but also thirty and I see Kirsten in your comment section (an endorsement if ever there was one) so consider me a reader!

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