Things I’ve Come to Terms with at 31

I turned 31 a few weeks ago. For the most part I have come to terms with my “old age.” The number is just going to get higher so I should stop fighting it. I did have a very small breakdown about officially being in my thirties but overall I dealt with it. Entering a new decade has definitely had its perks.

Your twenties are all about trying out new things and finding out who you are as a person. Want to move to a different place every year? That’s what your twenties are for.

Your thirties are a lot more mellow. Don’t get me wrong. I still want to try new things. There are plenty of places I still want to visit. Hobbies I still want to pickup. Books I eventually want to write. But my thirties have definitely shown me that there are quite a few things in my life that are set. I plan on spending my thirties embracing the little things that make me who I am and stop trying to change them.

Staying up all night will never happen again. This one makes me a little sad. When I was younger, “breaking night” while having a sleepover was one of my favorite things to do. Now, the idea of staying awake the entire night is torturous. A sunrise is a sunrise. I don’t need to see it. Let me sleep.

I will never dance well. This always used to be something I was embarrassed of: my horrendous dancing skills. Sadly, I was never blessed with rhythm but I am done fighting it. Next dance party I attend, I’m letting my inner-Elaine run free without any fear of judgment.

Being sexy will never come natural to me. This isn’t a self-deprecating comment. I am not saying that I’m never sexy. My boyfriend thinks I’m sexy. However, if I actively try to be sexy, I have the opposite effect. A striptease from me is a ball of awkward and will most likely end with me somehow getting stuck in my lingerie in a fit of laughter.

I will never enjoy exercising or eating healthy. I am still going to do it. Since I’ve gotten older, I’ve become more and more concerned about exercising and eating healthy. I’ll continue to give these things a chance for health reasons and all that nonsense, but I’m not going to like it. My couch will always be more appealing than the gym. I’ll always love cupcakes more than kale.

Being a millionaire is not in the cards for me. Why did we think we would be rich when we were younger? I considered having a nice car and my own home by the time I was thirty inevitable. Getting rich seemed like it was an attainable goal back in the days. Boy was I wrong. Now I just want to make enough money so I won’t have to work until I’m 80-years-old. The new American dream!

A day at Bed Bath and Beyond is now my favorite way to splurge. Partying it up all night at the latest club? No thanks, my apartment has $10 bottles of wine and Netflix. Dining out at that hot new restaurant? I’ll take my own cooked meal and sweatpants. Do you want these 20% off coupons at Bed Bath and Beyond? OMG yes! Clear my schedule. I need to spend the next several hours buying gadgets for my apartment. This toilet seat easily removes to make cleaning a breeze! (This toilet seat is a real thing and I absolutely love it.)

A feeling of impending death will always overcome me after a night of heavy drinking. My body can still handle a glass or two or three of wine at night to unwind. I can wake up from this ready to start my day. However, bring in the hard liquor and shots and all hell breaks loose. I can kiss productivity out the door for the next two to three days. That is how much time I’ll need to recover.

I’ll never pick up and move to a new place without a set plan. When I was in my twenties, I always entertained the idea of picking up and moving to another place. I still like this idea but it is a lot more reasonable. I would like to leave New York one day but not before I have a job secured somewhere. I have become a lot more practical in my thirties. That may sound depressing and boring, but do you know what isn’t boring? The ability to buy food and pay rent!

It doesn’t matter what other people think of me. I spent so many years of my twenties in a perpetual state of anxiousness. What others thought of me mattered way too much. This made friendships difficult. Relationships challenging. It made life in general rough. I am so over that nonsense. Here is something that young people really need to remember: The opinions of others truly do not matter. Life becomes a lot more free when you live it exactly how you want and now how other people want you to.



  1. “I will never dance well/Being sexy will never come natural to me”. Gawd thank you for saying that. Cosmo magazine and other sexually-charged, woman-targeted publications always try to tell me that rhythm and sex appeal can be taught/learned. So I’ve tried to acquire both skills. And failed. Then I tried again because maybe I didn’t try hard enough the first time. Again failure. I’m glad that I have you and Elaine in my corner.

    1. Crappy dancers unite! I also think that there are other ways to exude sex appeal. Being able to perform a lap dance without falling isn’t the only way.

  2. Hahaha! I relate to this on a very real level. Dance [badly] like no one’s watching? Psh. Let me save all of everyone and their second cousin twice removed the nightmares of that one. I will never, ever dance well. Ever. It’s just not in the cards.

    1. Not everything about entering your 30s is great. (Why am I always tired and why does my back hurt all the time?) But there are plenty of great things as well and I’m choosing to focus on them.

  3. Ahhh I absolutely LOVE this. I’m 26 right now and 31 doesn’t sound old to me, but I still love reading your posts and watching you forge the path before me. I seriously think you are such a great role model and love that you can accept that life and people aren’t perfect, but you can still enjoy every stage of it. I hope you had a great birthday and I hope to see more posts again soon! 🙂 ❤

    1. Aww thanks so much. Your comment put a huge smile on my face. I know 30 isn’t that old (I mostly like to just joke about being an old lady) but at 31, 21 feels like a lifetime ago.

  4. This article is a collection of necessary truths all bundled up in hilariousness lol. I swear its like a light goes on (or off lol) when you hit your 30’s. I have no idea why we were all so adamant in our youth about being rich. Were our parents reach? Our teachers? Or neighbors? Where did we get this miscommunication from? lol

    1. I sure didn’t know any rich people growing up. But I also think I never realized that most of the adults I came across were probably struggling. For a long time, even in High School, I lived under the assumption that if you had a full time job, then affording things such as vacations, homes, cars, etc. was easy. Boy was I wrong about that.

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