My Uterus Is Not Your Business

The title of this post may seem a little crass but that is exactly what I have felt like shouting to several people the past year. Something interesting happened when I entered my 30s. It seems that I entered an age where people start to become really concerned with whether or not I am going to have children. And I am not just talking about family members. It turns out that coworkers are highly concerned with what’s going on inside my uterus.

I don’t know if it’s my age or the fact that I’m in a serious relationship; it’s probably both of these factors combined. But either way, my decision to have children or not has been a very hot topic for many people.

“So are you going to have children?” “Do you want to have children?” “When are you having children?” “You have to have children.” “Wait until you have your own children.”

Children, children, children. Look, I love children. My nephews are two of my favorite humans in this world. I work with children and I absolutely adore them. But having your own children is a completely different thing.

I am still not sure yet if I want my own child. And to be honest, that’s a decision that only I can make and the guy I’m with.

I think as a society we should all agree that asking the current status of a woman’s uterus is something that we should all just stop doing! If a woman has a baby in her belly or is trying to get one in there, then she will tell you if she chooses. If she doesn’t, then it’s her decision.

Asking someone who doesn’t want to have kids about this puts their back against the wall. “Do I just say no or say that I don’t want kids?” “If I say I don’t want, then I’ll probably have to explain why.”

But do you know what is even worse? Asking someone who is trying to get pregnant if they are pregnant or when they’re going to have kids. You have just reminded this woman that she still does not have a baby in her belly which is probably the last thing that she needs. Trying to conceive and having a hard time is an incredibly difficult thing for any woman to go through. She does not need a constant reminder from her nosy Aunt Sally.

So if you ever feel like asking a lady about what’s happening in her uterus, DON’T! Ask her how work is, about her next vacation, if she prefers pancakes over waffles. Anything else is better than baby talk!

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14 comments

  1. OMG yes!!! I am 32 and have been married for 4 years and holy hell why don’t I have children?!?!?
    I am still undecided- which apparently is even worse than not having them yet.
    I’ve heard that the best response to someone asking about your childbearing plans is “why do you ask?” So they know how rude they’re being. But I can never remember to use it in that instance lol

  2. HATED that question when we were unsuccessfully trying to have our first. Eventually I started responding with: “We would like to, but have had a hard time getting pregnant. It’s been hard and stressful.” That would usually end the conversation quickly. 😉

    1. That’s an awesome answer. It definitely shows to people how rude of a question it is. Sorry to hear that you had a hard time getting pregnant. I can only imagine what that must have been like. I hope everything worked out for you!

  3. Sorry, my wife and I are probably the kind of couple that make these questioners ask. We got engaged, a month later found out we are expecting, and two weeks later were married. I kind of worry what kind of false expectation that sets for those hearing about us.

    1. Hey, everyone does things at different times. My sister got pregnant when she was engaged as well. But I still just think it’s rude for people to ask this question. It’s definitely not your fault, it’s just some people not having boundaries.

      1. Some people definitely lack the tact to stay in their lane. I did not get married until I was 41. All through high school, college, the rest of my 20s, and 30s, people were anxious about who was I dating and whether or not I’d get married.

        The only thing I got more uncomfortable questions about were strangers trying to figure out my skin color.

  4. So true! People can be so rude and intrusive without even realizing it. I’m about to be 29 and the children questions are coming in. What’s annoying is that if we don’t have kids on society’s schedule we’re judged and if we have them before we’re ready we’re judged! Like your title says my uterus is not your business! Love this post❤️

  5. I feel like shouting this from the roof tops! We’ve been married 6 months and this is all people want to know. Like I’m not trying. I’ve startrd blogging about my journey of trying to conceive for my own personal sounding board. Xx

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