I am going to warn you guys now, things may start to get a little weird around these parts. For the next three months, aside from work 4 days a week, I don’t have a lot else going on. No deadlines to make. No fifteen-page papers due. The only thing I really have to get done this summer is research for my thesis. But this is me we’re talking about so I won’t even start thinking about it until the middle of August and then curse myself for waiting until the last minute. (I bet you’re thinking, “Liz, what’s wrong with you? Just do a little every day and you won’t get overwhelmed.” Well, a. This is just who I am. It’s already been decided. I’ll convince myself I don’t need a lot of time to do the research and then curse myself for not giving myself more time to do the research. b. Don’t tell me how to live my life!)

Basically, the point I’m trying to make is that I am going to have a lot of time on my hands. Lots of time to do more posting which will most likely result in a lot of nonsensical rambling. But I promise to try to make that nonsensical rambling as entertaining as possible.

Today’s nonsensical ramblings will feature popular sayings, idioms, phrases. Whatever you call them, and no matter how cliche they may be, we’ve all used them. But if you really think about some of them they are pretty ridiculous!

I started thinking about sayings after the term “raining cats and dogs” popped into my head the other day. Totally ridiculous saying that makes absolutely no sense but perfectly described New York City Sunday night. It really was raining cats and dogs. And the weather hasn’t gotten much better since. It’s been cold, rainy, and gross this week in NYC. It’s really been rubbing me the wrong way and making me feel a bit under the weather. (See: this whole post is brought to you by sayings!)

It is what it is. This was said to me by a guy I was dating (and really liked) when he was ending things with me because he wasn’t over his ex. All of this was done through instant messenger. It’s safe to say that when I hear someone say this phrase I immediately have the urge to punch them in the face, repeatedly.

You want to have your cake and eat it too. I don’t even understand this saying. Does this conversation ever happen at a restaurant? Diner: Waiter, I would like a slice of the chocolate cake. Waiter: Excellent choice! Would you like a fork or spoon? Diner: Oh neither, I’m not going to actually EAT the cake. What do you take me for? I just want to look at it. What is the point of having cake if you’re not going to eat it?

Cross that bridge when you come to it. Being the procrastinator that I am, I actually love this saying. Let’s not worry about things until we really have to. In fact, when we get to that bridge we can spend a few days camping under it to buy ourselves some more time.

Best thing since sliced bread. Look, I love bread. Who doesn’t? And sliced bread really was a great invention cause it made sandwiches possible. But are we really going to declare sliced bread to be the best thing ever? Cars, computers, television, cupcakes…all these things and we go with sliced bread to be the beacon of modern inventions? Something doesn’t add up.

Waking up on the wrong side of the bed. I’d like to vote to change the phrase to simply be “Waking up.” Let’s not blame the bed. There is no wrong side of the bed. Beds are amazing. The problem is having to wake up and leave the bed. That’s what puts me in a foul mood.

Saved by the bell. Can anyone hear this saying and not think of Zack Morris? History lesson: I actually looked up the origins of this saying and it was rumored to have to do with helping people who may have been accidentally buried alive. A bell would be attached to the coffin so if the buried person suddenly woke up to discover they were wrongly laid to rest, they can just ring the bell to get help. Apparently, being buried alive happened quite a lot way back when. But sadly, this rumor isn’t true. The phrase refers to boxing. Not nearly as interesting.

Side note: If anyone takes it upon themselves to cry that I just don’t understand what the sayings actually mean, I will give you an “It is what it is” punch in the face!