I used to be able to fall asleep anywhere, anytime. Sadly, unless I am drunk, this is not the case for me anymore. Now I need at least 3 hours of TV watching. Ten trips to the bathroom because I have to pee or feel like I have to pee. Then it’s about 7 hours of thinking about every different direction my life can go in the next five years. After this is done, I have about 3 minutes before my alarm goes off.
Clearly, sleeping is a FANTASTIC experience for me. I envy those who fall asleep the second their heads hit the pillow. Please tell me your secrets!
I do a shit ton of thinking before I finally fall asleep. I actually do some of my best thinking before I go to sleep. You have no idea how many blog post ideas I’ve come up with while trying to go to sleep. If I was able to remember even half of the posts I’ve thought up, I’d be writing my 1,000th post right now. Here are just a few of the thoughts that go through my brain when I’m trying my hardest to fall asleep.
- Someone needs to invent a device that can screen grab images from my mind so I can look at them in the morning.
- Oh God, I am going to have to start paying off my student loans again soon.
- Why did you just think of that? Think of something happy.
- Ok, what am I going to eat for lunch tomorrow?
- Maybe I’ll pick something up on my way to work.
- I should really get something healthy. Maybe I’ll get a salad.
- Ooh, maybe I’ll go running in the morning before work as well.
- Nah, I won’t be getting up early. But I can always go running after work. I don’t get home too late and the weather’s been getting nicer.
- Who the hell do you think you’re kidding you delusional psycho? You’re not eating a salad tomorrow and you’re definitely not going running.
- Hahaha, I can’t even fight myself on this one.
- I’ll probably get a burger tomorrow. I’ve been wanting to try Wahlburger’s.
- And when I get home it’s more Game of Thrones for me. Maybe I can finish season 4.
- Still cannot fathom that it took me so long to watch that show. I feel like a functioning member of society now.
- Keri is partially to blame for my finally watching it. She just wouldn’t shut up about Jon Snow so I had to see what all the fuss was about.
- But if I’m being honest, I find Jon Snow really boring. His whole storyline is pretty dull.
- And he’s not even the best looking on the show. The Mother of Dragons is by far the hottest on the show.
- She’s insane looking and makes me question my sexuality whenever she’s on the screen.
- She also has such a nice body.
- I bet she doesn’t eat burgers for lunch all the time and skip working out every damn day.
- Maybe if I ate less burgers and more salads, I’d have a nicer body as well.
- God dammit! How am I on this again? Shut up brain! Either go to sleep or think of something happy.
- Spring is finally here! That’s a very happy thought.
- Before I know it I’ll be able to wear dresses and sandals when I go out. Can’t wait for that.
- And I have so much fun stuff planned in the next coming months.
- Can’t wait until I go to D.C. with Keri. It’s going to be so nice to just get away for a couple of days.
- I gotta start researching all the great places to eat and cool places to see when I’m there.
- Food is probably one of the most important things I care about when I’m going on vacation.
- Yea, that’s cause you’re a fat ass who loves food a little too much.
- Holy shit! Would you shut up!
- I wonder what time it is?
- OMG! It’s 2 in the morning. Stop thinking and go to sleep already!
*On a very serious note, does anyone know of any remedies that don’t include pills or alcohol that will help one fall asleep quickly?