31 Thoughts I Have While Trying to Go to Sleep

I used to be able to fall asleep anywhere, anytime. Sadly, unless I am drunk, this is not the case for me anymore. Now I need at least 3 hours of TV watching. Ten trips to the bathroom because I have to pee or feel like I have to pee. Then it’s about 7 hours of thinking about every different direction my life can go in the next five years. After this is done, I have about 3 minutes before my alarm goes off.

Clearly, sleeping is a FANTASTIC experience for me. I envy those who fall asleep the second their heads hit the pillow. Please tell me your secrets!

I do a shit ton of thinking before I finally fall asleep. I actually do some of my best thinking before I go to sleep. You have no idea how many blog post ideas I’ve come up with while trying to go to sleep. If I was able to remember even half of the posts I’ve thought up, I’d be writing my 1,000th post right now. Here are just a few of the thoughts that go through my brain when I’m trying my hardest to fall asleep.

  1. Someone needs to invent a device that can screen grab images from my mind so I can look at them in the morning.
  2. Oh God, I am going to have to start paying off my student loans again soon.
  3. Why did you just think of that? Think of something happy.
  4. Ok, what am I going to eat for lunch tomorrow?
  5. Maybe I’ll pick something up on my way to work.
  6. I should really get something healthy. Maybe I’ll get a salad.
  7. Ooh, maybe I’ll go running in the morning before work as well.
  8. Nah, I won’t be getting up early. But I can always go running after work. I don’t get home too late and the weather’s been getting nicer.
  9. Who the hell do you think you’re kidding you delusional psycho? You’re not eating a salad tomorrow and you’re definitely not going running.
  10. Hahaha, I can’t even fight myself on this one.
  11. I’ll probably get a burger tomorrow. I’ve been wanting to try Wahlburger’s.
  12. And when I get home it’s more Game of Thrones for me. Maybe I can finish season 4.
  13. Still cannot fathom that it took me so long to watch that show. I feel like a functioning member of society now.
  14. Keri is partially to blame for my finally watching it. She just wouldn’t shut up about Jon Snow so I had to see what all the fuss was about.
  15. But if I’m being honest, I find Jon Snow really boring. His whole storyline is pretty dull.
  16. And he’s not even the best looking on the show. The Mother of Dragons is by far the hottest on the show.
  17. She’s insane looking and makes me question my sexuality whenever she’s on the screen.
  18. She also has such a nice body.
  19. I bet she doesn’t eat burgers for lunch all the time and skip working out every damn day.
  20. Maybe if I ate less burgers and more salads, I’d have a nicer body as well.
  21. God dammit! How am I on this again? Shut up brain! Either go to sleep or think of something happy.
  22. Spring is finally here! That’s a very happy thought.
  23. Before I know it I’ll be able to wear dresses and sandals when I go out. Can’t wait for that.
  24. And I have so much fun stuff planned in the next coming months.
  25. Can’t wait until I go to D.C. with Keri. It’s going to be so nice to just get away for a couple of days.
  26. I gotta start researching all the great places to eat and cool places to see when I’m there.
  27. Food is probably one of the most important things I care about when I’m going on vacation.
  28. Yea, that’s cause you’re a fat ass who loves food a little too much.
  29. Holy shit! Would you shut up!
  30. I wonder what time it is?
  31. OMG! It’s 2 in the morning. Stop thinking and go to sleep already!

*On a very serious note, does anyone know of any remedies that don’t include pills or alcohol that will help one fall asleep quickly?



  1. Haha, exactly my dilemma! I think way too much before I fall asleep. For me, there’s really no other way to easily fall asleep than to me sleep-deprived the night before (usually, this happens when I’m traveling overnight, or had to wake up super early the morning before for work), or cut out the caffeine.

    1. I swear even if I am sleep-deprived it doesn’t always help. Like I could be on only 4 hours of sleep but still have trouble going to bed the next night. It’s crazy!

  2. I know you said no pills, but a fairly low dose of melatonin (I get the Trader Joe’s stuff because it’s the lowest dose I can find) really helps when I get in an insomnia rut

  3. Hahaha oh man, nothing makes me feel like more of a fat ass than when I’m trying to fall asleep and I realize I’m thinking about what I’m going to eat the next day. All the things in the world to worry/dream/think about, and my brain is like, “Hm. You know you want rolled tacos tomorrow. But you know you might want enchiladas too. Just get tacos–you got the enchiladas last week. Plus the tacos come with that awesome guacamole. Yeah, definitely tacos.”

    Serious note though, things that help me sleep:
    -keep the room cool
    -keep it dark
    -noise doesn’t bother me, but it might you, so check that out!
    -no caffeine after 2pm
    -read something kind of interesting, but kind of boring too. If I read a novel, a lot of times I end up staying up later because I just gotta know what happens. But if I read about random diseases, historical events, etc. on Wikipedia, I’m entertained… but only mildly so, and I end up falling asleep.
    -try a heavier blanket, some people sleep better under the pressure
    -eat some rice, probably not the healthiest option, but I swear when I eat rice it makes me so damn sleepy

    I still have insomnia once almost every month around “that time.” Even sleeping pills have not really helped with that though. Hope it’s not a chronic problem for you. 😦 Insomnia is awful.

    1. Thanks for the suggestions. I’ll have to try them all, except the keeping it dark one. I’m a baby and still afraid of the dark but the other ones might work.

      And your comment totally made me want tacos! Haha.

  4. Meditation is pretty great. But also, for me it’s just finding a way to get all of those thoughts out of my brain. Sometimes I’ll make a “Throw-up List” of all the random shit floating around in my mind, just to get it out so I’m not thinking about it. It really helps. Good luck!

  5. I’m glad I’m not the only one with mental “chatter” about totally random stuff! It’d be entertaining if it wasn’t so maddening. And your first paragraph is everything.

    Here are some rules I follow for myself:
    – Stop looking at electronics (including tv) about half-an-hour before bed (the light from the screens sends a signal to your brain that it’s time to be awake)
    – When I head to my bedroom for sleep, I actively focus on keeping my mind blank. Sometimes I’m tempted to lay there for a bit and think about the good day I had, but that just sends me on a slippery slope toward insomnia 🙂
    – No tossing & turning for hours on end: if I’m still awake after an hour or so of being in bed and there’s no sign of the mental chatter going away, I will give up for the time being. Going to my living room and reading for a bit usually helps.

    Hope that helps! Insomnia sufferers, unite!

    1. I have to really cut the screen time. I always watch TV right before sleeping and even when I’m done with the TV I’ll play on my phone for a bit. I have to cut that out.

      1. It really is hard to do! I do sometimes watch tv before bed and it doesn’t affect me – but it has to be something pretty “bland” and I’ll only watch it in my living room… once I go to my bedroom, screen time is over.

  6. Oy. I hardcore understand your pain, sweets. Don’t even get me started on that thing I do when I mentally compute how many total hours of z’s I can get if I fall asleep now…or now…or maybe now? Shit. It’s gonna be a 4-cup of coffee day tomorrow isn’t it?

    Some things that have helped me recently though is having a fan in my room, reading (although not Harry Potter because there’s no stopping me once I get started on those), a warm glass of milk (my mom’s secret and it sounds weird and an old wives tale but it actually works!!) and making a list of all the things I’m worried about, and throwing them in the trash. My anxiety sometimes hits an all-time high at night thinking about what I need to do the next day, what I haven’t done, boy issues, etc. so for me, it’s kind of cathartic to just get rid of all of them. They’re still there absolutely, but there something in the actual act of trashing those negative thoughts that’s actually kind of helpful!

    Hope that helps, Sleepless in Brooklyn!

    1. Great advice except for the warm milk. Unless milk is in my cereal, I can’t stomach it. But love all the advice. You’re the second person who mentioned making a list of all the stuff that’s floating around in my head. I really need to give that a try cause last night was another night where I kept tossing and turning all night.

  7. Breathing in for 4 seconds (not fast seconds haha), holding the breath for 8 seconds and breathing out for 7 seconds. This slows your heart rate down to how it is when you are sleeping, which in turn sends your brain the signal to relax since it thinks your sleeping. I fall asleep within minutes, when it used to take me hours. This also helps in a meditative sense since you’re focusing solely on breathing and being very present.

    1. Just keep doing this breathing pattern and you’ll fall asleep super fast. The long hold and long out breath can take some getting used to. But it is soooo relaxing 🙂

      1. I have anxiety too and it works wonders 🙂 If you are ever having an attack and get the rush of cortisol, this really helps flush it back out.

  8. I use a citrus, menthol/eucalyptus, lavender room spray. I have problem shutting off my brain too. Kind of works for me. Well sometimes. Maybe you can try something similar or a scented candle or something? No harm right?

  9. Melatonin is all natural and the emerge zzz brand adds lots of vitamin c to the mix. Maybe that’s something to look into. I don’t use it all the time but when I don’t want to use regular sleeping pills or meditation, melatonin is good for helping falling asleep. Make sure the room is dark too..the body doesn’t naturally produce the melatonin in bright light

  10. #1, 11, 29-31 are all my thoughts also lmbo. I think you should try some ASMR YouTube videos (The late Bob Ross’ painting channel is a good one). He will put you to sleep!

  11. The thinking is the problem. Try to make your mind blank. Or else do a “body check” (i.e. mentally taking your mind to a specific place on your body and releasing tension), starting at your toes and working your way up to your head.

    My best trick, though, is to do a short, intense workout right before bed. It burns up any stress-related adrenaline, I am exhausted anyway from my day and because I work out late at night, and then I flop into bed and (sorry!) fall asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow. *blush*

    I hope you find something that works soon because not being able to fall asleep sucks. 😦

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