Just know that the above title is said with an “ugh” in front of it and the “o” in worst is stretched out as long as my vocal cords will allow. Because, “Ugh, I really am the absolute woooooorst!”

I fully condone people liking themselves. Way too many people struggle with insecurities that it’s nice to hear someone proclaim “I’m awesome.” But none of us are perfect, no matter how amazing things may seem on the surface. And sometimes we need to admit that we’re the worst!

The number one reason I am the worst? I have been severely neglecting this blog. Really badly. I haven’t posted in well over a month. I haven’t had time to catch up on any of the awesome blogs I follow. I can start spewing a million and one excuses (and they are some pretty good excuses: four classes with tons of homework, working two jobs, etc.) but it still doesn’t change the fact that I am the worst!

I apologize for the lack of activity lately. I am hoping to change that. And I do have a ton of finals and papers coming up which means my procrastinating ways will give me a lot of free time. Expect a post titled “Things to Do When You Should Be Writing a Paper” within the next few weeks.

Aside from the obvious lack of posting the last month or so, here are a few other things that make me the absolute wooorst!

1. I will laugh hysterically if I see you fall. Unless you are clearly injured badly, I will be on the floor with you cracking up. It doesn’t matter who you are. In fact, if you’re a small child, I may laugh harder. My sister has a video of my 2-year-old nephew running towards something excitedly and then falling on his ass. I have watched this video more times than I care to admit and it is never not funny!

2. I find it annoying when people cough, and do not get me started on when they clear their throat. I know this makes me an asshole. People cough. They may have something stuck in their throat. They may have a cold. No matter the reason, they should be able to cough without judgment. That’s why when someone is having a coughing fit right next to me, I don’t say anything (I’m not THAT much of an asshole). But just know that I’m internally screaming.

3. I have 5 Justin Bieber songs, 3 Paris Hilton songs, 2 Lindsay Lohan songs, and 1 Jennifer Love Hewitt song on my iPod. I don’t really think this needs any other explanation.

4. I have never seen a single Star Wars or Godfather movie! I know, blasphemous!

5. I absolutely hate chocolate covered pretzels. Anytime I say this to someone they look at me like I’m insane. And maybe I am. Maybe I’m missing something. But to me, chocolate covered pretzels are in the same category as chocolate covered crickets: both are an abomination and need to be stopped.

6. I am the worst procrastinator in the world. As of right now I still have 5 short essays, a 6-10 page paper with a presentation, a 3 page paper, a cataloging project, and a website with 4 distinct pages due before the end of the semester. Want to know what I’ve done so far? I’ve created to-do lists/outlines with the things I need to do. That’s it. I create these lists and then decide I’ve done enough work for the day. Definitely be on the lookout for that “Things to Do When a Paper’s Due” article any day now.