Relationships

Moving in Together Is a Big Deal but It Shouldn’t Feel Like One

So my bf and I have decided to move in together. Technically he’s decided to move into my place. (Thank the heavens I don’t have to actually do any moving.)

Whenever we tell other people, they always say the same thing, “That’s a big deal.” JR and I were confused when everyone kept telling us that. We didn’t feel like moving in together was that big a deal. We both naturally came to the decision because it made the most sense. We were already spending practically all of our time together anyway. Having one space we both called home makes things a lot easier. Now I don’t have to pack a bag or pray that I have clean underwear at his house. We’ve basically been living in two places which became annoying. The amount of clothing I’ve lost from going back and forth is atrocious. I had enough.

So we decided to make this huge move in our relationship. (No pun intended!)

I get that moving in together is a big deal and it’s not something that any two people should take lightly. It’s a big step in a relationship. If you do it too soon, it could ruin things. There is a lot you learn about a person once you live with them. It’s probably a good idea to try and find out as many of those quirks as possible BEFORE you decide to move in together.

I knew I was ready to live with JR so it didn’t feel like a big deal. Here are a few of the reasons I knew moving in made the most sense for our relationship. I’m not saying these tips will work for every relationship but if you’re thinking about moving in with your significant other, it doesn’t hurt to check them out and see if they fit.

We survived a big trip together. Back in June, JR and I spent 13 days traveling through Europe. While I love traveling and I have so many wonderful experiences from my trips, it can also be stressful. You learn a lot about a person when you see how they react with little sleep, multiple plane rides, and an attempt at navigating the Berlin train system.

I was comfortable when it came to the two Ps with him. By two Ps, I mean poop and period. I know that everybody poops and it’s a natural part of life but I will admit that I’m THAT girl. The girl who likes to hide her bathroom habits for as long as possible. There was plenty of pooping right before I showered in the beginning of our relationship. Not anymore. I can thank our trip for eliminating any boundaries I once had when it comes to that. When you share one bathroom in a small hotel room, it’s impossible to keep your bathroom habits a secret.

We spoke about the future. I cannot stress this enough, but do not move in with someone if you are unsure of where you guys stand. Having a talk about the future and marriage and kids can be scary. However, if you’re not able to bring up these issues, then you aren’t ready to move in together. Make sure you’re on the same page before you make such a big move. (There I go again with the no pun intended!)

We were spending more time together than apart at this point. We were already spending most of our time together, it was just a matter of where. We had to decide if we were going to stay at his place this weekend or my place. Which then meant we had to really decide who is the one forced to pack a bag and who doesn’t have to.

We were familiar with each other’s finances. Money is a hot topic when you move in together. There’s rent, utilities, groceries, etc. You have to figure out how things are going to be split and how much each person can afford. You don’t have to divulge everything. That will depend on the individual relationship but you need to know the basics.

It felt natural. This goes back to the whole big deal thing not really feeling like a big deal. It felt like the next natural step in our relationship. And I think that’s how it should be.

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It’s Complicated Until It’s Not

There’s no secret that dating was not always easy for me. Just look through the dating and relationships tags on this blog and you’ll find many rambles from a lady who was ready to wave the white flag.

When I was dating someone, I was usually left with more questions than answers. Does he like me? Do I really like him? When should I sleep with him? Will he judge me if it’s “too soon?” Can I actually see this going anywhere? Does he see this going anywhere?

I regularly contemplated the why of the whole thing. Why am I even dating? Is it worth all the hassle, and the first date interviews, and the stressing about what to wear? Do I even want a boyfriend?

That last question popped up in my head a lot. I was living on my own and starting a new career. I had this whole life of my own. I was already struggling to fit everything into my life. Did I really want to add in an entirely new relationship? Where would I find the time? Do I really want to bring a new person into my life, introduce them to my friends, have them meet my family, etc.?

So. Many. Questions.

By the time I reached my late 20s, dating was a very complicated ordeal. And it was. Dating can be complicated. Until you realize that it isn’t.

Eventually you’ll meet that person where the only questions you’ll be asking are “what should we eat for dinner?” and ” what should we watch on Netflix tonight?”

You’ll soon discover that if you have to ask “does he like me?”, the answer is either “no” or “not enough.”

There will be that person you don’t need to struggle to find time for. They will fit seamlessly into your life. Making time for them won’t feel like a hassle or obligation.

In its simplest form dating is easy. Boy likes girl, girl likes boy. Both boy and girl decide they want to spend as much time as possible with each other. I’m a firm believer in the theory that things shouldn’t be difficult in the beginning. The beginning is the time for butterflies and excitement.

When you find that person who makes you stop questioning, hold on tight. You may have finally found your uncomplicated ever after.

Getting in a New Relationship After Being Single Forever

This post has been in the back of mind for awhile now. I’ve wanted to write it several times but then thought against it. I finally realized that this is a blog about my life. It’s my journey through my late twenties and now my thirties. I’ve written so much about my shitty dating experiences that I should also include when things are going well, right?

I wrote once about a new man in my life and that ended shitty. I think that was part of the reluctance I had when it came to writing about a new relationship. But me and my man have been together for a little over 6 months now. He’s a big part of my life and this is a lifestyle blog. It makes sense that he’s going to come into conversation one of these days. He just met my parents for the first time two weeks ago so now it’s time my lovely readers meet him.

I may love broadcasting my entire life on a public blog but I recognize that not everyone may feel this way. That’s why I’m going to refer to the lovely man I’m dating as JR. (It’s part of his initials so it works.)

When people ask how we met, I usually say, “We went to High School together and recently reconnected.” All of this is true. But I am just leaving out certain aspects. By recently reconnected, what I really mean is found each other on a dating site. That’s right! Sometimes OK Cupid can work.

I was on OK Cupid for a very short time when JR messaged me. I immediately recognized him from High School. Before he even messaged me, I was on the brink of deleting my account. I had had enough of online dating. So after only exchanging a couple of messages with JR, I told him I was deleting my account and asked if he’d like to exchange numbers. I normally don’t do this. I like to talk for a little before exchanging numbers. I also usually just wait until the guy asks for the number. But in this case I knew that I would be deleting my account and I knew I didn’t want this to be the end of my interaction with JR.

So we exchanged numbers and I waited for him to contact me. He did; the next day. We spoke for a few weeks, met up on May 12th, and have been dating ever since.

It’s been really nice. And a lot of fun. But it’s also been a lot of adjusting. These past few years, even when I had someone, I still wouldn’t call myself taken. I was always single-ish. This is the first time in forever that I’m 100% not single. It’s been a little weird. Mostly awesome, but a little weird.

When you’ve been the single girl for so long, being in a relationship definitely takes some getting used to.

I’ve been lying to myself in the past. When I was dating, I would give myself a 2-date rule. I figured that it would take more than one date to determine if I actually liked someone. Two dates should let me know for sure. Well, after my first date with JR, I knew 100% that I liked him and wanted to go on another date. I also lied to myself with some past dudes and made excuses for them. I convinced myself numerous times that the guy really did like me. He just needs time. He’s really busy. And so many more excuses. I was lying to myself. If a guy likes you, you’ll know it. If a guy wants to be with you, he’ll make time. It’s really very simple. I just made it way more complicated than it needed to be.

The word boyfriend feels weird. It took me 6+ months to share JR with you guys. When I’m dating someone, I tend to keep them to myself for the most part. It takes a lot for me to share the guy with other people and talk about him. If he does come up in conversation, he is usually referred to as “this guy I’m dating.” The first time I spoke about JR and called him my boyfriend, it sounded weird. It still feels a little weird. It’s just a much easier term to use than “guy I’m dating.”

But girlfriend is a nice one to hear. Not gonna lie, it’s nice being introduced as “my girlfriend.”

Holy Batman! There is not enough time. Work and friends and family and alone time was already a lot to juggle. Adding a relationship has made maintaining everything overwhelming. It’s something I am still working on. There is never enough time to do everything I want.

Alone time is so much more satisfying. I love alone time. I loved my alone time when I was single. However, when you’re single, alone time isn’t always a choice. Alone time comes cause you have nothing else to do. Since being in a relationship, my alone time has become significantly more satisfying. I adore the nights spent in my apartment alone laying on the couch and watching TV for hours.

Doubt doesn’t magically go away. After so many dating mishaps, it’s easy to be skeptical. Too many times I have grown tired of the person I was dating or slowly realized that they were growing tired of me. I am pretty secure in my relationship with JR and don’t usually question where I stand. But this does not mean that doubt hasn’t gone away completely.

Sometimes clichés are right. When you’ve been single for awhile, you’re going to hear a lot of the same things. “It’ll happen when you least expect it” is one of those sayings I heard the most. I always thought it was ridiculous. I am single but would like to find someone. In some way, I’m always looking. But now I kind of know what they mean. The first time I met up with JR, I did not want to go. I had just had a huge dinner for my nephew’s birthday. All I wanted to do was go home and sleep. I remember throwing some mascara on in my car right before I walked into the bar. Before the date even started, I was already thinking about how and when I could leave. I did not expect anything to come of it.

Fear is one of the biggest enemies. Being single is easy. Being single is safe. You only have yourself to worry about yourself. You’re not giving someone else the capability to seriously hurt you or let you down.

Relationships involve a lot of talking and compromise. As a 30-year-old single person, I was very set in my ways. I was used to being on my own and not having to rely on anyone. I never had to think about anyone else, ever. Those views don’t always make for the healthiest of relationships. I had to become reacquainted with having a new person in my life.

All those disasters, make this relationship a lot sweeter. Man was I fed up with dating. You guys read all about it. I wasn’t kidding when I said that dating shouldn’t be so exhausting. I was tired of it! I was done with dating sites, first dates, unanswered texts, etc. Knowing how horrible things could be out there in the dating world and knowing how difficult it is to find someone you really connect with makes my relationship with JR that much sweeter.

The Other Shoe Is Always Going to Drop

My favorite line when I start dating someone new is, “I’m just waiting for the other shoe to drop.”

Those first few weeks/months of dating someone, things are as close to perfect as they’ll ever be. You’re both on your best behavior and trying really hard to impress one another. The guy never cancels, always texts on time. The girl always has her makeup and hair done, never complains. Everyone is trying to be the most perfect version of themselves.

I spend a new relationship just waiting to see when this blissful period will end. Because it always does. It tends to end in the most horrifically dramatic way possible. The guy doesn’t just stop canceling, he stops making plans altogether. He stops texting right away and instead takes 3-5 business days to respond with an “lol” or an “ok.”

This is never fun and it’s the reason why I always enter a new relationship with skepticism. I know the other shoe is going to drop. It’s not a matter of if but a matter of when.

However, there is something that I need to realize: the other shoe is always going to drop and that’s OK. What matters is how it drops. If it drops but I’m able to pick it up, slip it back on, and keep on walking, that’s alright. It’s when the shoe drops and breaks so badly that it’s cheaper to just buy a new pair than take them to get fixed, that I need to worry about it.

The other shoe is always going to drop. That new period in a relationship I just spoke about – the one where everyone is on their best behavior – is nice but it’s not sustainable. Perfect bliss in a relationship isn’t real.

Relationships are messy and complicated because people are messy and complicated.

You shouldn’t want that perfect bliss to last forever because then you’re never really seeing the person you’re dating for who they truly are.

Now this isn’t to say that a person should do a complete 180 when you’ve been dating a few months and stop trying. But this is saying that a person shouldn’t be afraid to show different parts of themselves, even the not so great ones.

I’ve come to realize that I look forward to the other shoe dropping. Show me what makes you YOU. I want the authentic version. Not the version who is on his best behavior because he’s trying to impress me.

What makes you sad? What makes you angry? What are some of your annoying little habits that you kept in check our first few dates?

I am not looking for the perfect version of you. I’m looking for the real version of you.

This is exactly why not only do I realize that the other shoe is always going to drop but I look forward to it.

Dating Advice From Someone Who Is Horrible at It

As you all know, I’m not so great at this whole dating thing. Never have been, probably never will be. I don’t see myself becoming the next host of the Millionaire Matchmaker anytime soon. (Actually, considering that the host of a friggen matchmaking show is single maybe I could!) I spent a large portion of my 20’s dating and making a lot of mistakes. But along the way I learned a lot. I’ve always been better at giving other people advice but not being able to give myself the same advice.

As it always seems to go, a lot of my friends have come to me for relationship/dating advice. I never understood it really. It’s like asking the vegan what’s the best way to grill a steak. But I liked it. Hearing others’ experiences in dating and giving my own perspective, has also helped me learn a lot about my own dating life.

So I have decided to bestow some of my words of wisdom to you, my loyal readers. Please keep in mind that I do not claim to be an expert at dating. (I admit to being horrible at it right in the title.) But these are just some of the things I’ve learned along the way dating and hearing about the adventures in my friends’ dating life. Also, all of this stuff is coming from my personal experiences. I am not excluding people on purpose but I feel as though I can only give proper dating advice to girls dating boys. It’s all I know.

Sex is and isn’t a big deal. When you’re first dating someone, a lot of emphasis is put on sex. Just do a quick Google search of the phrase “when should I sleep with the guy I’m dating?” You’ll get a million hits. And every single article will have a different time frame. As confusing as this may sound, my thoughts on sex when it comes to dating is that it’s a big deal but in the same sense, it isn’t. When you’re dating someone new, sex is just another part of getting to know them. You should never be using sex as a way to get something that you want in a relationship, i.e. him making things official. But sex also does change the dynamics of a relationship. If you’re already liking someone, the feelings may very well get deeper after you have sex. You need to be prepared for that. In the end, no one can tell you when you should sleep with someone except for you. Just do it when you feel comfortable, and ONLY when you’re comfortable.

Do not get trashed on a first date. This is coming from someone who loves her alcohol. It’s one of my favorite things in the world. However, getting drunk on a first date is never a good look. And this goes for both guys and girls. Have a drink or two to settle your nerves but keep the sloppy drunkenness for at least the third date.

If there’s nothing there, you can’t force it. This past year I implemented a two-dates and then I’m done rule for myself. I do believe that you can sometimes be unsure about a person after a first date. You feel like there may be something but you’re not sure. There’s nothing wrong with going on that second date to find out. However, if after that second date you’re still not sure, it’s best to just end things. You cannot force feelings. If they’re not there, they’re not there. Forcing it is unfair to the person you’re dating and to yourself.

Don’t string someone along cause you’re bored and/or lonely. This is just wrong on so many levels but I feel as though we’ve all been guilty of doing this at least once. Even if we lied to ourselves and claimed we really liked the person. No, you just like the attention they’re giving you. I’ll go back to my previous point: if you’re still not feeling it after the second date, cut ties.

Go into your own wallet every once in awhile. This may be an unpopular opinion and you all may not agree with me but I’m going to say it anyway. I think the guy should pay on the first date. Even if the girl does the whole “would you like some money?,” it’s just to be polite. She doesn’t actually want you take her money. Now with that being said, your man shouldn’t be paying for every single thing, every single time. If you’re both working, there is no excuse for you not to dip into your wallet even once the entire time you’re dating.

There’s nothing wrong with meeting a potential spouse online. I have this friend who is obsessed with the perfect love story. She wants some epic tale of how her and her husband met that she can one day tell her grandkids. It’s a great idea but usually doesn’t work that way. Do you really think you’re going to fall in the middle of the street and right before a taxi runs you over, a Ryan Gosling look-a-like is going to scoop you up in his arms and save your life? Sorry, this isn’t a Nicholas Sparks movie. More and more people are meeting their significant others online and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. The majority of single people these days probably have at least one dating profile, most have more than one.

Rejection is just a part of dating. I am going to be blunt here: not everyone is going to like you. Have you liked every person you’ve ever come across? Have you ever come across a guy who seemed really cool and even thought he was cute but felt absolutely nothing for him romantically? These things happen. And they are going to happen to you. You shouldn’t take it personally. Just move on because there is a guy out there that will realize just how amazing you are.

Having standards is one thing but being too picky is not good. Keep your standards. Don’t settle for a dud just because you’re scared you’re going to wake up one day at the age of 50, alone, with a dozen cats. There are some things that you shouldn’t compromise with in a relationship. However, there is a such thing as being too picky. The guy you’re dating isn’t perfect and neither are you. Don’t drop him the second you discover something you don’t like about him.

The “What are we” talk isn’t all that important. You’ve been dating a guy for a little while now and things have been going great. He texts you and makes time to hang out with you when he’s not working. It’s obvious that he’s into you. The only thing that hasn’t happened yet is the “Where is this going” chat. That’s fine. There’s no need to bring that up when it’s early in a relationship if it’s pretty obvious where you stand.

But if you’re feeling unsure/uncomfortable about something, speak up. If you find yourself constantly questioning where you stand with a guy or feel that things have suddenly changed, then speak up. You have the right to know if you guys are on the same page or if you’re wasting your time. A conversation like this can be scary and you may not always get the response you’d like but it’s always better to bring it up sooner rather than later.

Things Are Different This Time

Well I haven’t been around in awhile. I did not want to start 2016 completely neglecting this blog. It kind of just happened that way. I don’t have a working laptop at the moment and the new job does not leave me a lot of time to sit and write a post. (I did some of my best blogging at my old job.)

I’ve been missing blogging and reading posts from my favorite bloggers. But other than that, 2016 has been going really well for me. My job as a Young Adult librarian has been a lot of fun. I still haven’t fully won over the teens at my library but I will! I’m not above bribing them with chips and cookies. They will like me! I’ve also found a place to live. I will once again have my own place by February 15th. I’ll also be purchasing a new laptop to go with my move so blogging will go back to normal eventually. (You all can rejoice!)

Additionally, remember the nice boy who’s tall and makes me laugh I spoke about in my last post? Well he is still very much in the picture. Things are going really good. It’s no secret that I have a tendency to overthink things so I can honestly say that things are going scarily good. Boys normally fall into one of two categories for me. Either I really like them and am attracted to them but they’re assholes who don’t treat me so great or they are so nice to me and are so into me but I feel nothing towards them. But this guy. Man, it’s different. He’s so incredibly nice and he likes me. But I also really like him and think he is just the cutest boy ever! (I know, I know. I’m corny! I can’t help it.)

Anyone who has read even just a handful of my posts will know that I am not very good at the whole dating thing. Things never seem to work out. Things just feel different this time around. I’m not pulling many of my classic-Liz moves that I normally do when I like a boy.

  1. I don’t analyze every word of every text I send him. If there’s something I want to tell him or just want to say “hi,” I send him the text without even thinking about it. I don’t spend hours debating whether I should send him a “What’s going on?” or “What’s up?” text with my friends. (Something I have sadly done many times before.)
  2. I’m not afraid to let him know I like him and be affectionate towards him. This is going to be very shocking to hear, but I have a bit of a wall built up around me. I don’t normally like letting a guy know I’m into him for fear of being hurt.
  3. If he doesn’t answer my text right away, I don’t stress. I know it’s cause he’s probably busy at work or just hasn’t had a chance to answer me back yet.
  4. I haven’t spent hours obsessing over all the things that are wrong with him. I like him and I haven’t tried convincing myself that there are so many reasons why I shouldn’t like him.
  5. I’m myself around him. This is a big one. Normally when I like a boy, it’s almost impossible for me to be myself. I don’t do it on purpose but I’m just thinking so much that it’s hard to act natural. When I’m with this boy, I’m incredibly goofy and the conversation just flows easily.
  6. I have no problems initiating plans with him. This coincides with point number 2. Normally, I avoid coming across as clingy or as though I like a boy too much by never being the first to make plans. I’ll usually make the guy do all the work.
  7. I don’t feel the need to constantly talk about him. Here comes another shocker: I’m usually pretty insecure when dating someone. I normally spend a lot of time chewing my friend’s ears off with every detail about what’s going on with the guy I’m dating. I think I’m subconsciously looking for reassurance that things are going well.
  8. I’m not worried about the future or “what we are.” This is still all new. We’ve been hanging out for about a month now and I’m just enjoying the time. I’m not overthinking labels or where this is all headed. I’m just enjoying my time with him right now.

I’ve been very un-Liz like and I’m really liking it.

 

 

 

I’m My Own Worst Enemy When It Comes to Dating

Bridesmaid he was cute so I ran away

I wish I could say that this post comes with some sort of advice or lesson learned. It doesn’t. This is a way for me to try to work out a problem I’ve always had. A problem that I cannot even begin to explain. Maybe some of you lovely readers will have some answers. If nothing else, maybe I’ll be able to find some fellow weirdos who can relate.

It all started at a very young age. Probably in the third grade with the first boy who had a crush on me. He was so sweet. When I was out sick for a week right before the holidays and my dad came to school to pick up my homework, this boy gave him a present for me. It was a stuffed animal with a note hoping that I’ll feel better soon. That was incredibly sweet and showed bravery. An 8-year-old went up to my father to give him a present for the daughter that he has a crush on. This crush went nowhere. I didn’t even hold his hand (the equivalent of getting to third base when you’re eight). I immediately friend-zoned this poor guy.

Maybe I just didn’t like this little Romeo. I’ve already went over how just being “the nice guy” isn’t enough. But I have a history of turning away the boys I’ve liked as well. My first date was in the fifth grade to see Liar, Liar with a boy I really liked. Halfway through the movie, with my date constantly trying to put his arm around me, I came to the realization that maybe I don’t like this guy after all. Needless to say, this was our first and last date. Then for my sixth grade prom, the boy I had the biggest crush on actually asked me to be his prom date! I was ecstatic for a day before I started to question whether I actually really did like him. Turns out I didn’t so I had a friend tell him that I couldn’t go to the prom with him. (I am fully aware that I am coming off as Regina George-levels of mean and maybe I was when it came to these poor boys. But I really didn’t do it intentionally.)

This cycle of being a weirdo followed me into high school. I was a loser in high school. Braces, glasses, and a back brace will do that. I didn’t stand a chance. But there were a few boys who actually showed me attention. What did I do? I bet you’ll never guess. I ran away! One boy, who was tall, cute, and played football, inexplicably showed interest in me when I was a freshman in high school. I immediately closed up whenever I saw him and would go out of my way to avoid talking to him on the bus or in the hallway. A big part of this could be attributed to confusion. I just went over what I was packing in high school. I thought that this dude was playing some kind of cruel trick by being nice to me.

I wish I could say that after I left my teenage years, things got better. They haven’t. In fact, they have just gotten worse. There have been boys that I have genuinely liked. Truly cared about. But it’s always been at a distance. I never truly let them in. The second I feel as though things may be starting to get serious, I find some excuse to bail. No person in this world is perfect so if you try hard enough you’ll always be able to come up with an excuse to leave them. There’s always something that you’re not going to like. When I find that something, I convince myself that it’s a deal breaker.

There was one boy in my life that I let get to me. One boy that I actually cried over. It was a boy I met in college. He was really into me and always tried hanging out with me but surprise, surprise I kept putting it off. This happened for two semesters. Then finally he reveals to me that he got a GF so we stopped talking. Fast forward a little over three years and he calls me out of the blue. We start dating even though he was only 3-months out of a long-term relationship with the very girl that caused us to stop talking so many years ago. This guy was a walking red flag but I didn’t care. I went along with it anyway cause I actually liked him. A boy I actually liked and wanted to spend time with! I couldn’t pass it up.

Naturally things started to go south rather quickly. The texts got less frequent, something always came up when we were supposed to hang out. Eventually things ended cause he was still hung up on his GF (they even went to dinner one night while me and him were supposedly dating). I knew he was hung up on his GF, I knew he was emotionally unavailable, but I went along with it anyway. Nonsense with this boy went on and off for a little over a year before it ended for good. I know you guys are shaking your end at me for thinking getting into a relationship with a guy right out a long-term relationship was a good idea. Trust me, I’m shaking my head at myself. Maybe the allure of him being emotionally unavailable is what pulled me in.

Things still haven’t gotten better. This February, I met a boy. A tall boy with GREAT hair, who had his own place and made me laugh. He made an effort to take me out on real, proper dates. He cooked me dinner. The first time he did, I went to his place and the table was all set and everything. He also made me feel really pretty. He was incredibly complimentary, and not in an annoying, “just saying you look nice cause I should” way. He was so genuine in his compliments. Any normal girl, after coming across a guy like this would be elated. Unfortunately, we’ve already established that I’m not a normal girl. I literally found everything to discredit this guy. “He’s really clingy.” “He texts a lot.” “He wants to hang out all the time.”

(You are completely justified in judging me while reading this and please feel free to be mean to me in the comments section. I need it.)

Fast forward a few months later, I’ve found a way to sabotage things with the boy from February and I’m getting ready to be set up with my brother-in-law’s friend. Things are good for about a week before they start to go south. Regular readers will be familiar with this one. He’s the infamous almost relationship boy. This boy has been trouble since day one yet I keep coming back. (Yep, he is still in the picture.) It’s as though him being emotionally unavailable and a dick to me, is the way to my heart.

I’ve expressed my concerns about my dating habits to the people closest to me. I fear that I’m not actually capable of falling in love. There has to be something wrong with me that I can’t find anyone I truly like. I fear that I may have met the one for me but in my own stupidity I let him get away. (I still think about the boy from February a lot and genuinely miss him.)

They all tell me the things you’re supposed to say to someone when they are single and complaining: “You just haven’t met that special someone yet. He’s out there.” I get the sentiment and it’s the right thing to say, but it’s not always true. Not everyone finds their special someone. We all know at least a few people in their forties who never settled down. And if I’m being completely honest with myself and letting my guard down, that’s one of my biggest fears. I like being single. However, I don’t want to be alone forever. It’d be nice to find that person I could share life’s ups and downs with. But sometimes I feel as though I’m not capable of it.

I am not big on New Year’s resolutions. They are stupid and usually never actually work out. But if I had to commit to one thing in the upcoming year, I’d like to be less of an idiot when it comes to dating. I’m FAR from perfect and I need to remember that so is the person I’m dating. If they treat me right and make me laugh, then I shouldn’t be going out of my way to find things to dislike about them.